The #1 thing you need to know before you try to lose weight.
This week I wanted to talk about the #1 thing you need to know before you try to lose weight; only YOU can do it.
I’ve made a video about this, which you can watch below, or keep scrolling if you prefer to read.
Now for some people you might find this a bit of a tough subject. You might find it tough, because it seems like you’re being blamed or you’re being called out. So I just want to start by saying that it’s not about blaming or shaming yourself. I’m not blaming you, but it’s time for a little bit of real talk, because sometimes we need that. I just want you to know that this is said with love and it’s said to help you. I’m always aiming to help you ditch dieting and get where you want to be. If you’re ready for that then let’s go…
Only you can do it.
No diet plan or health coach is ever going to be the answer to all your problems. OK, getting advice and support from a mentor or coach, can really help you. That support can make a difference in the short term, but in the long term it’s you that has to keep things going. Whatever it is that you’re trying to do to get to where you want to be, it’s you that has to learn what you need to do. Obviously it can help to bounce ideas off somebody else. Somebody who’s outside the situation can sometimes find it easier to recognise what you need to do, but in the long term it’s you that’s got to keep it all going.
It’s your life and you’re the expert on you.
You are the expert on your life at the end of the day. You’re the only one who knows exactly what you’re doing, what you’re eating, how you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. When it comes to trying to reach your health goals, whether you’re trying to eat better, lose weight or get fitter, it all comes back to your day-to-day habits. If you need to make changes to your habits, you’ve got to keep the changes going to build new habits. Whatever you do to get to your goal you’ve got to stick to forever, so you have to learn what’s going to fit your lifestyle and work for you. It’s not for anybody else – it’s your goal.
If you want to BE different, you have to DO different.
To reach your health goals you need to build up new, different habits, but you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to change everything. Remember what I’m always talking about – little tweaks can add up and make a big difference long term.
Build self-accountability
What will really help you in the long-term is building self-accountability. This is something that I teach my 1-2-1 clients and there’s a whole session on it in my ‘No More Diets’ online course. Self-accountability is about recognising that you have to be able to answer to yourself. External accountability from a coach or mentor will only work for so long, at some point it’s got to come from you. You have to learn to hold yourself accountable.
What do you need to take responsibility for?
I always think there’s two parts to self accountability and the first part is about taking responsibility. Look at what you can take responsibility for and recognise where you maybe haven’t been taking responsibility so far. Look at where you could take back control and take ownership of whatever’s going on in your life. Start by simply asking yourself – “what in my life can I take responsibility for?” You’ll need to take that metaphorical step back to ask yourself whether you’re really taking ownership of what you’re doing and how you’re responding to situations. (BTW I’m talking about the everyday stresses and strains in life not the big shit like bereavement or the economy!)
How could you be more proactive?
What helps with this is the other side of self-accountability, which is learning to be proactive. This is about looking at what you can do in a situation. Looking at where you can make changes and take back that control, rather than only focusing on the situation. In life there will always be lots of things that we can’t control, but there are also always things we CAN take control of, if you look for them.
For example, we can’t change the weather, but we can change how we respond to it. Let’s say your normal exercise is going for a walk everyday, but then one day it’s raining. If you were being reactive and not taking control of the situation, you might say “well I just can’t go for my walk then!” That’s really focusing on the situation and what you can’t change, rather than taking a step back to look at what you do have control over.
What can you do about it?
Being proactive would be seeing that you can still go for your walk, you just need waterproofs or to get your brolly out. Or maybe you decide to go swimming instead or do some exercise at home. So you find a way to keep doing what you need to do. Being proactive is taking that step back and asking yourself what you can do about the situation – what do you have influence over?
If all you do is think it’s out of you hands, nothing’s ever going to change. Instead decide right now that you’re not going to give up, you’re going to have a look at where you have a choice. What is it you can tweak about the situation? Even if it’s something really small, you’ll feel better for taking back that control. Then sometimes that opens other doors for other areas where you can make changes.
Remember the small changes really add up in the long term
Don’t discount those little tweaks and little changes. When it comes to habits it’s all about consistency. This is where learning to keep yourself accountable and keep things going is so important. Have a think about:
- Where could you take responsibility that maybe you’ve not been before?
- How can you be proactive in situations where it feels like things are out of your control?
Remember you might need to take that step back from your situation to be able to see what you can do.
If you need help with this then get in touch.
Time to ditch dieting forever, because you absolutely deserve better.
Need help to ditch dieting forever?
Want to eat normally again AND lose weight healthily? While still enjoying the cake & chocolate? Hell yes!
I will help you ditch dieting forever, either with my 1-2-1 support. Or if you prefer to work independently, you will learn all the skills I teach my 1-2-1 clients, on my ‘No More Diets’ online course.
Freebies!
My Weekly Round-up! AKA; what I’ve been up to recently…
- Tea of the week has been English Breakfast – mostly out of either a flask or a thermos mug at the park again! Such a relief it’s been cooler this week!
- It was still pretty hot at the weekend so we tried to look for a hill with plenty of tree coverage to walk up. Unfortunately we managed to go completely the wrong way so we didn’t actually go up the hill! That means we can’t add that to our family challenge ’22 Hills in 2022′. It was still a lovely walk though.
- Genevieve and I went on an adventure this week, with mixed results. I thought it’d be fun to walk across the fields to a village near us where there’s a playground we’ve not been to. The playground was a big hit, so much so that we went back there for a playdate today! She also loved going to the small local library there to get some more books. They had a treasure hunt competition, which she enjoyed. Then the walk home didn’t go down well. Even though we went the shorter way home she was too tired. Plus I’d forgotten to bring a snack so she was wailing about being hungry – oops! Rookie error!
- This past week Sam and I have really enjoyed watching the new ‘Sandman’ series. We’d both read some of the graphic novels years ago. It was stunning, but dark like I remember it being. Now we’ve started re-watching the ‘Locke & Key’ from the beginning as the 3rd season is out. Argh I’d forgotten how stunning the house is – my dream house!
- In case you missed it, I’ve recently given my YouTube channel a sort out. I need to get 100 subscribers before I can customise the URL. At the time of writing this I have less than half that, so pretty please with a cherry on top, go and subscribe. Plus also if you know anyone, or any groups who need to hear my message, please share with them too – thank you!
- On the subject of YouTube… I watched a video that was recommended to me on there and stumbled across the wonderful world of ‘Bardcore’ music! Basically covers of songs, but in a medieval style. I spent (wasted?!) a good half an hour enjoying a few songs like this – go check it out if you like random shit!
- Bird Nerd Report: I think the birds are hiding from me. Haven’t seen a kingfisher in ages even though I’ve been to Kingfisher Corner a few times. I did see a few jays at one point and a goldfinch so that was good – a couple of my faves.
